A Matter of Interpersonal Choice - The Kunti Phenomenon

Last night I caught up with a debate on TV, on the pros and cons of Premarital Sex. Both sides had very self righteous approach to it. One side talked all about gaining experience - what’s wrong in Being a Management Trainee in Marriage, instead of straight being a CEO, I wondered, and please that’s not the only experience required for a successful marriage, how about more mundane areas like Cooking and Budgeting, and Child Birth – the other side talked all about abstinence, to keep oneself a virgin for your husband/wife, mostly husband because I do not hear too many debates where it is found worthwhile to ask whether a guy is keeping himself in pristine condition for his future wife.

The main question in my mind was, where does right or wrong come in, is it not a question of personal choice, or maybe a question of interpersonal choice!

And yes, most of these debates equate virginity with vaginal sex, there where no clarifications on Oral or other forms of sex, or even masturbation! To my mind, Virginity is a state of mind. If, in your mind, you have experienced desire, if in your mind you have had an orgasm, or if you have really had an orgasm, you are no more a virgin (You may call it the Kunti Hypothesis – apparently no Sex was involved, but because she gave birth to Karna just by thinking of the Sun God – She lost her virginity and had to go a great length to hide the fact!)

Otherwise, there is no other definition of virginity that is gender neutral and hence progressive. Alternatively, as an after thought, you may say that if two or more people are involved in a sex act, virginity is lost (irrespective of how far you go – heavy petting, mutual masturbation, intercourse etc), else not.

Now the question is, if virginity is lost, does it matter? I think not, but then that’s my opinion, and to impose my opinion on others would defeat the very secular nature of this article!